Our children are our neighbors, too

Back to school season is coming, and with it, something that has always made me cringe: the celebrating of getting the kids out of the house.  Remember the Staples commercial, "the most wonderful time of the year"?  I know it was meant to be funny, but I hated that ad so, SO, much.

How many times I have heard some variation of, "I can't wait until you are your teacher's problem again!" hissed at fidgety kids being dragged along on school shopping trips, where everyone is frustrated trying to find obscure school supplies from lists that were likely made online and have no resemblance to what's available in the local store, and everything costs more than it should. 

But while I usually just feel a little disheartened and also a little bit sympathetic to everyone involved, it was trumped by an offhand comment from an adult caregiver (not the parent): "Oh, don't worry, they are used to being yelled at."

The kids in question were delightful little humans, who I was acquainted with. I can't imagine them ever behaving in a way that would merit enough yelling for them to be "used to it". I wanted to say, "You're kidding, right?  That's got to be a joke," but I was tongue-tied, while another adult just laughed awkwardly.  None of us had the right words in the moment.

I kind of believe it was meant as a joke, but still... please, PLEASE, think about the power of your words. Your kids do hear you, and they internalize their own interpretation of what you say.

This week's comments from an online personality brought that scene back to mind and made me realize that it has not gotten any better - apparently, at least in some circles, it's gotten so much worse. 

If we imagine other adults speaking about us the way we have normalized mothers speaking of their children, or having the same expectations of us that we have of children, maybe we would pause for just a moment and rethink it?